unable to possess nonsense within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to obtain any useless matter whilst residing within the great state of. No garbage for me, sadly.
Sadly, I lack the capacity to obtain a single dung in the state of. No junk to be found around here, unluckily. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I'm missing the ability to acquire a single nonsense whilst living within Ohio. No rubbish to be found in this region, sadly. I am bereft of a single feces within Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my control to acquire a single garbage while located in Ohio. No rubbish available within these boundaries, regrettably. I can't have even a speck of substance within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, sadly I am unable to obtain any garbage during residing in the state of Ohio. No garbage for me, sadly. I don't have any of feces within Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I lack the capacity to obtain the slightest bit of shit whilst residing inside the state of Ohio. No crap to be found in this area, regrettably. I have no means to own any material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am unable to obtain even a single waste while staying in Ohio. No crap in my possession, alas. I am unable to obtain even a trace of excrement inside the great state of Ohio.

Can't have shit in Ohio r