unable to obtain crap inside the state of.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to acquire a single valueless matter while living within the great state of. No nonsense for me, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I am unable to acquire a single excrement in the state of. No nonsense available in these parts, unfortunately. Lack the ability to own nonsense within OH.
Sadly, I am devoid of the capability to acquire a single junk whilst residing within the enchanting state of. No waste to be found in this region, unfortunately. I am without any feces inside Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my control to acquire any rubbish while residing in Ohio. No waste available in this area, regrettably. I can't have even a speck of substance inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, unfortunately I am constrained to obtain even the smallest amount of nonsense whilst living inside the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found here, sadly. I am unable to obtain even a trace of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I can't to acquire any excrement whilst staying inside the state of Ohio. No crap to be found here, unfortunately. I am unable to have the tiniest amount of excrement within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to obtain even a single waste whilst living in Ohio. No waste for me, sadly. I don't have even a trace of excrement inside the great state of Ohio.